• Home
  • About
    • Welcome
    • Head of School
    • Our Team
    • Board Leadership
    • Careers
    • Cougar Facts
    • Safety and Security
    • Strategic Plan 2021-2025
    • STEAM Building
  • Admissions
    • Overview & Process
    • Online Application
    • Taste Of Clariden
    • Tuition & Fees
    • Tuition Assistance
    • Request Information
    • Campus Tour
  • Academics
    • Cougar Prep (Preschool)
    • Lower School
    • Middle School
    • Upper School
  • Enrichment
    • Arts
    • Athletics
    • Character Education
    • College Prep
    • Field Study
  • On Campus
    • Before & After School
    • Cougar Buddy Program
    • Special Events
    • Summer Camps 2023
  • Support Clariden
    • 2023 Gala
    • Cougar Pride Annual Fund
      • Monthly Pledge Form
    • Community Supporters
    • Donate Today
    • Employer Matching
    • Referral Program
    • Special Events
    • Volunteer
    • Ways to Give
    • Welcome Alumni
  • News
  • Contact
(+1) 682 237 0400
hello@claridenschool.org
  • Parent Portal
  • Student Portal
  • School Calendar
  • Spirit Shop
  • 2022/23 School Shirt
The Clariden School
  • Home
  • About
    • Welcome
    • Head of School
    • Our Team
    • Board Leadership
    • Careers
    • Cougar Facts
    • Safety and Security
    • Strategic Plan 2021-2025
    • STEAM Building
  • Admissions
    • Overview & Process
    • Online Application
    • Taste Of Clariden
    • Tuition & Fees
    • Tuition Assistance
    • Request Information
    • Campus Tour
  • Academics
    • Cougar Prep (Preschool)
    • Lower School
    • Middle School
    • Upper School
  • Enrichment
    • Arts
    • Athletics
    • Character Education
    • College Prep
    • Field Study
  • On Campus
    • Before & After School
    • Cougar Buddy Program
    • Special Events
    • Summer Camps 2023
  • Support Clariden
    • 2023 Gala
    • Cougar Pride Annual Fund
      • Monthly Pledge Form
    • Community Supporters
    • Donate Today
    • Employer Matching
    • Referral Program
    • Special Events
    • Volunteer
    • Ways to Give
    • Welcome Alumni
  • News
  • Contact

Letter from Head of School

Home » News » Helicopter Parenting

Helicopter Parenting

  • Posted by Clariden School
  • Categories Letter from Head of School
  • Date April 24, 2018

Are you helicoptering?

Last week my parenting class explored the topic of helicopter parents. There is a significant amount of research that states the negative impact helicopter parenting has on a child’s development. The research states that children raised by parents that heavily helicopter lack the following:

  1. 1. Grit (The ability to persevere over an extended period of time to reach a goal)
  2. 2. Resiliency
  3. 3. The ability to problem solve
  4. 4. Confidence in their own ability to handle themselves and their world
  5. 5. The ability to take risks

From time to time, we all have helicoptered – it’s hard not to. We all want our children to be happy and we feel the need to fix things for them – We don’t want them to struggle.

Healthy struggle, however, builds grit, resiliency, problem solving abilities and allows for children to gain confidence in their ability to handle “hard stuff”. I stress “healthy” struggle – continuous struggle can also hinder one’s development, creating in the child a lack of caring (i.e. I don’t care about you, school, etc.), high stress levels, high anxiety and at times depression.

So what’s the healthy balance and are you helicoptering too much? Here’s some things to think about:

  1. 1. Do you fight your child’s battles? Meaning you jump in to solve your child’s problem.
  2. 2. Do you do your child’s homework? Do you put on your preschooler’s shoes, solve your teenager’s math problems or write their essay for them? Remember healthy levels of stress actually boosts a child’s problem solving skills and children need to know that you believe in their ability to do their work (whatever that work is). Remember providing support looks and feels very different from doing.
  3. 3. Do you “coach” their coaches or “teach” their teachers? Please don’t “yell” from the sidelines. Coaches and teachers may have a different approach or goal than yours, and that’s a good thing. Children need to know that you have faith in their “village”. They need to know that you support them and the villages/classrooms/teams they are a part of.
  4. 4. Do you put your child in a bubble? Are you too safety conscious? Do you not allow them space – meaning that you’re always there. Do you attend drop off birthday parties, drive or walk your child to their friends, even though they live only a few houses down the street? Children need freedom to explore to develop independent skills.
  5. 5. Does your child do chores around the house? Children need to learn responsibility and what it means to be a part of a community. Give your child a job within the home and give them a shout out for effort put into those responsibilities.
  6. 6. Do you rescue your child – hindering the opportunity for failure? Children need to know that they can fail and it’s okay. The greatest learning happens through one’s mistakes. Problem solving skills are developed through one’s failures.

If you answered a resounding yes to the questions above, you may be helicoptering too much. It may be time to step back and re-evaluate. Helicoptering is exhausting and not healthy for a child’s development.

At Clariden, we teach our students to take risks, give them opportunities to create, design, build and thus learn to problem solve. We see failures as great learning opportunities! As the author Roald Dahl states, “The more risks you allow children to take, the better they learn to take care of themselves.” Independence is definitely a worthwhile goal!

Sallie Wells, Head of School

Photo by Diana Măceşanu on Unsplash

  • Share:
Clariden School

Previous post

2018 Art Show & Auction
April 24, 2018

Next post

Two Clariden Teams Take 1st Place at Odyssey of the Mind
April 26, 2018

You may also like

blog-familes-of-color-conference-2019
Cultural Competence
20 October, 2019
homework
Let’s Talk About Homework
3 October, 2019
blog-student-voice-did-my-mom
Did My Mom …?
15 February, 2019

Categories

  • Awards
  • Letter from Head of School
  • News
  • Uncategorized

clariden-logo

We offer next-generation learning to a global community of independent thinkers by
igniting curiosity, encouraging innovation, and discovering genius.

The Clariden School is a nonprofit organization recognized by the IRS as a 501(c)3. The Clariden School does not discriminate on the basis of race, gender, nationality, ethnicity, socioeconomic status, sexual orientation, political and social values, culture, religion, physical ability, family structure, or learning style in its administration of admission, financial aid, availability of program, and hiring practices.

 

 

School Hours & Calendar

  • MONDAY - FRIDAY
  • Administration7:30 am - 6:00 pm
  • Cougar K-128:15 am - 3:30 pm
  • Cougar Prep Preschool9:00 am - 3:30 pm
  • Early Drop-OffStarts at 7:45 am
  • Extended DayUntil 6:00 pm
  • School Calendar

Contact Us

To schedule a tour or for general inquiries, please contact us:

100 Clariden Ranch Rd., Southlake, TX 76092

(+1) 682 237 0400

hello@claridenschool.org

© Copyright The Clariden School 2017-2023. All rights reserved.

Private Middle School in Southlake TX, Pre-Kindergarten to 12th Grade: The Clariden School: TAAPS logo
Private High School in Southlake TX, Pre-Kindergarten to 12th Grade: The Clariden School: NAIS logo
Private Middle School in Dallas TX, Pre-Kindergarten to 12th Grade: The Clariden School: TPSA logo